Watching my life flash before my eyes...

Today a friend from back home sent me this link called "S&*@ My Kids Ruined," which is a blog collecting pictures of things children have managed to destroy, one way or another.  Now besides the fact a friend "Saw this and thought of" me, instead of looking at the shock and awe I suppose some people, parents or not, would, I found myself rating the messes relative to stunts my kids have pulled.  Sure, some of them are pretty bad, but my kids have blown several of these things right out of the water.  If you're one of my newer readers, I have 10 posts tagged as "Classic Messes," including various stunts with body or wall art, spills (Ben's yet to outdo knocking over the 18 pound bucket of granola syrup and then crawling through it.), and my son even managed to "ruin" my sister's earring by swallowing and passing it. And these blog posts just skim the surface of stunts they've pulled.

So considering how much time I've spent scrubbing marker off skin and crayons off walls and vacuuming crumbs off the carpet or pulling out my carpet shampooer for whatever reason, it takes a lot to phase me now.  When I see a picture of a kid covered in marker or a room that appears to have every drawer and toy box empty or only one box of cereal spilled on the floor, it doesn't really hit me that hard.  In fact, it takes a pretty big disaster to phase me these days.  Probably had to build that tolerance to disaster up to keep myself out of the crazy house.

Rather than list all the messes my kids have made, after viewing that blog, I did note there are a few things my kid's haven't done...yet.  Here's a list of a few things I was thankful I haven't had to deal with...yet.

1.  Destroy an expensive electronic or piece of furniture.
This probably has a lot to do with the fact that we just don't buy a lot of expensive things knowing that they'd be vulnerable to attack by our children.  (This is why we have a $30 used kitchen table and hand-me-down couches...I just couldn't bring myself to buy new ones.)  Sure, Ben's spent some time dumping water on the couch just to watch it spill, Kate took a glue stick and stuck a cut-out of a balloon to my china hutch, and when Amy was little she wrote her name on a desk in Sharpie, but when it all came down to it, I never felt like I was at a terrible financial loss over any of them.  Oh, one of the kids yanked the tray on a DVD player so it never went back in right again, but it was a hand-me-down, and we managed to score another hand-me-down, so that was no biggie.  And we're on our third VCR (which survived David removing a CD and a spider ring), but that's why I scrounge them up and don't pay more than $5 for one.

2.  The Car.
This is probably the biggest YET I've got, but if you've ever met my kids, you'll understand why I'm grateful they've never managed to start car...yet.

3. The Appliances.
So far our washer, dryer, vacuum and stuff have all lived good lives and died of natural causes, and the kids haven't figured out a way to stick something somewhere that caused disaster.

4. Other people's stuff.
With the exception of a few things at the Grandparents, who don't really count because they're, well, grandparents, I can't really think of anything big my kids destroyed that left me feeling liable. (And if I'm wrong about that and owe you something, please let me know...my memory isn't the best these days!)  (Oh, never mind.  Amy got paint all over my neighbor's carpet, right before they were ready to put their house on the market.  Still sorry about that, Catherine!)

5. My figure.
After 3 kids in 4 years, I've managed to be happy with my jean size, so I can't blame them for a huge weight gain. If anything, I can probably thank them for keeping me thin...between chasing these stinkers all over the world, rarely wanting to put the energy into cooking huge meals, and avoiding unnecessary snacking because I feel like if I sit down with a bag of chips I'm suddenly circled by vultures. The fact that I have to sneak snacks and hide in the kitchen to eat them has helped me exercise junk food self-control.

6. My marriage.
If anything has kept things in perspective for David and I, it's the kiddos.  We've learned the value of approaching these challenges (I was trying to think of a nice word... "terrorists," "attacks" and "threats" also came to mind, but, well, I really don't think my kids are THAT bad.) as a united front, and truly appreciate getting those few moments to sneak some time with each other, from an actual date night, to catching up our Netflix DVDs after the kids go to bed, to grabbing a conversation while David is getting ready to run to class after he gets home from work.  And someday...Amy will be old enough so we can make her babysit and we can leave whenever we want.  Oh, the things to look forward to...